I wonder if Kevin Smith's latest movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno will reach Philippine shores? Our morality police are quite uptight about anything that has to do with boobs and making babies so our only option to see this opus will probably be Makati Cinema Square-edition DVDs. Should be as funny as the faces men make when they blow a load.
Here is a poster banned by the MPAA, the US version of the MTRCB.
Gotta love the facial expressions of both Rogen and Banks.
Ito nga ba ang alamat kung bakit nagsisinungaling ang mga lalaki...?
Karpintero itong si Pedro at isang araw eh gumagawa siya ng isang bahay sa tabi ng ilog. Sa lakas ng pagmamartilyo niya eh nalaglag ang martilyo niya sa ilog.
Umiyak siya at lumitaw yung guardian angel niya,
"Tutulungan kita, Pedro"
Sabay lundag sa ilog.
Lumabas ito na me hawak na gold hammer, "Ito ba ang martilyo mo?"...
"Hindi po."
Lundag uli ang anghel at lumitaw na me silver hammer, "Ito ba?"
"Hindi po."
Lundag uli sa ilog ang anghel at lumitaw na me ordinary hammer, "Ito ba?"
"Opo!"
Natuwa ang anghel.
"Dahil honest ka, bukod sa martilyo mo, sa 'yo na rin ang gold and silver hammers!"
Makaraan ang ilang araw, naglalakad si Pedro sa ilog at kasama ang misis niya. Eh sa katangahan, nalaglag si misis sa ilog. Iyak si Pedro.
Litaw si guardian angel.
"Tutulungan kita."
Sabay lundag sa ilog at ng lumitaw eh kasama si Diana Zubiri. "Ito ba ang misis mo?"
Sagot si Pedro, "Opo!"
Nagalit si anghel,
"Sinungaling ka. Akala ko pa naman eh mabait ka."
Nag-reason-out si Pedro,
"Sorry po, angel... kasi kapag sinabi kong 'Hindi', eh lulundag ka uli sa tubig at paglitaw mo eh kasama mo si Katrina Halili. At kapag sinabi ko uli na hindi siya ang asawa ko, eh lulundag ka uli at ang tunay na misis ko na ang kasama mo.
At dahil sa kabaitan ko, eh ibibigay mo din sa akin sina Diana at Katrina.
Mahirap lang po ako at hindi ko kaya ang me tatlong asawa, kaya 'Yes' na lang ang sinagot ko nung una."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Kaya lang naman nagsisinungalin ang mga lalaki eh for a good and noble reason.
by Gerry Avelino and Arik Abu (taken from The La Sallian-Menagerie)
Conyo here, conyo there, conyo everywhere! Here at La Salle, conyospeak has become an unofficial language as a good chunk of the student body knows, or maybe even mastered the socialite tongue. However, one must never forget the basics of the conyo and we thusly bring you: The Ten Conyomandments.
1. Thou shall make gamit "make+pandiwa". ex. "Let's make pasok na to our class!" "Wait lang! I'm making kain pa!" "Come on na, we can't make hintay anymore! It's in Andrew pa, you know?"
2. Thou shall make kalat "noh", "diba" and "eh" in your pangungusap. ex. "I don't like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it's like, so eew, diba?" "What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?" "Eh as if you want naman also, diba?"
3. When making describe a whatever, always say "It's SO" pang-uri! ex. "It's so malaki, you know, and so mainit!" "I know right? So sarap nga, eh!" "You're making me inggit naman.. I'll make bili nga my own burger."
4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation "dude", 'tsong" or "pare" ex. "Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare." "I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh"
5. Thou shall know you know? I know right! ex. "My bag is so bigat today, you know" "I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book eh!"
6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish. ex. "I have so many tigyawats, oh!"
7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right? ex. "Like, it's so init naman!" "Yah! The aircon, it's, like sira!"
8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap? ex. "Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?" "It's so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?"
9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?" ex. "Like, OMG! It's like traffic sa LRT" "I know right? It's so kaka!" "Kaka?" "Kakaasar!"
10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect! ex. "I'm, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!" "Me naman, I'm from Lazzahl!"
Why is our country going to the dogs? Because our president is a shape-shifting alien bent on annexing the planet for the galactic Skrull empire, that's why!
Scribe Brian Bendis and homegrown penciler extraordinaire Leinil Yu expose the diabolical Skrull plot to rule the universe in Marvel Comics' Secret Invasion. Pick up issue #5 for proof!
Click here to embiggen the scan. Many thanks to Azrael who has risked his life to get us this information.
The opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olmpics were spectacular, spectacular, spectacular. Beware, though. Not everything you saw on TV was real.
Giant Footprint Fireworks Marching Towards the Stadium. Guess what? What the world saw was pre-recorded, enhanced and inserted into the footage beamed across the world. Officials do say that there were actual giant footprint fireworks, but because of expected pollution and safety issues for the TV chopper pilots, they went the digital trickery route.
That Little Pigtailed Girl in a Red Dress Singing Surprise! It was a lipsync. To someone else's voice. Apparently, an unnamed high muckamuck from the Chinese Politburo wasn't happy with the teeth of Yang Peiyi, the girl originally slated to perform. They swapped her out for Lin Miaoke, a prettier little girl, at the last minute.
BSOD Short for the Blue Screen of Death, the BSOD is something Windows users are all too familiar with. Eagle eye spectators spotted a BSOD projected on the wall of the Bird's Nest while superstar athlete Li Ning was wallwalking. Note: this ain't an issue of faking, unless they used pirated Windows. Hehe.
Something from Hollywoodland tonight, folks. Here are two recently released posters, one for the upcoming Diablo Cody movie Jennifer's Body, the other for Alan Ball's new Series True Blood. Which one is the original and which is the blatant copy? You decide.
It is not often that one gets to look behind the scenes at how one of the world's most popular toys is produced, but if you're absolutely curious just how can it be that Lego pieces from decades ago *will fit* Lego pieces from current sets (who else can claim that?), and other such details, Gizmodo has recently posted a set of videos showing the manufacturing process for Lego.
(frame from part 1 of the tour video)
Environmentalists will be happy to learn that Lego does recycle its ABS plastic, too.
The folks over at Team Manila have just posted their latest t-shirt designs online and are asking the madlang Pinoy to vote for their fav'rits. Take the survey and sound out here which your favorite designs are, and soon you'll find the winners at a Team Manila store or dealer near you.
My personal favorite is the fishballs design. Why? Secret.
Wow! How much of a jinx is George Bush??? Americans have to deal with the US Mortgage crisis, the Iraq War and now this:
This is the second year in a row that Miss USA tripped during the evening gown competition of the Miss Universe pageant. Last year, viewers were treated to this:
Better luck next year when a Democrat takes the White House!
Rumor has it that one of the most influential pinoy rock bands of our generation (meaning yung mga may malay na nung early nineties) is having a reunion concert six years after the group disbanded amid bizarre circumstances. Na-yoko-ono daw.
We're referring, of course, to the pop rock combo the Eraserheads. Some sortovan online viral meme seems to have been unleashed by select friends of the band and folks in the know, pointing to a reunion gig at the Mall of Asia. Great news if it is true. If it ain't, well, we can all just sit at home, stroke our cocks and listen to Weezer. Or Gorgoro.
Iconic synth-punk band Devo is filing suit against fast food tyrant McDonalds for using the band's trademark energy dome hat in a Happy Meal toy giveaway promoting American Idol.
"They didn't ask us anything. Plus, we don't like McDonald's, and we don't like American Idol, so we're doubly offended," says Gerard Casale, Devo bassist and designer of said hat.
Traditionally, bamboo has always been used in most Asian countries for a whole bunch of things, including music instruments.
This particular Philippine band seems to have taken the concept to another level: a whole band with bamboo instruments. They were good enough, it seems, to have caught Reuters' attention.
Sorry to Karlo and Lioness pero... off topic muna tayo.
Selling my Pentax Optio W30. Less than a year old and in great condition. Comes with box, manual, charger, usb cable and warranty from Colorado (head office).
Php10,000 na lang. :) I'll throw in an oregano seedling if you want. I have lots.
"The Pentax Optio W30 is a compact digital camera designed to be dustproof/waterproof. The waterproof function has been further enhanced from the W20 so that it is possible to photograph underwater at depths of 3 meters continuously for 2 hours. The waterproofing capabilities of the internal construction of the camera and of the front and back covers, made from the metal used for the exterior, were further improved to make the Pentax Optio W30 capable of being used to photograph underwater at depths of 3 meters continuously for 2 hours. In the previous W20 model, underwater photography was possible at depths of only 1.5 meters for a period of 30 minutes).
The Optio W30 includes a 3x optical zoom lens that covers focal lengths from 6.3 to 18.9 mm (equivalent to 38 to 114 mm for 35mm film) and features a refraction lens system so the lens never protrudes from the camera while zooming. And by harnessing the full power of the 7.1 effective megapixels, the Pentax Optio W30 produces extremely high-quality prints with crisp detail even when the photo is greatly enlarged."
• Auto-lock mechanism that automatically locks covers, such as the battery cover • Auto-tracking AF continuously focusing on a moving subject • Compatible with SDHC memory cards, in addition to conventional SD memory cards • Mode Palette provides quick access to 25 shooting modes and 15 playback modes • Image Recovery function lets you retrieve accidentally erased pictures • Soft flash function avoids overexposure during close-up flash photography • Digital zooming provides up to 4x magnification • Digital Filter function that lets you enjoy editing photographed images • FotoNation’s red-eye correction function for correcting red eye after shooting • Approximately 21.9 MB of built-in memory • Includes the ACDSee for Pentax image viewer/image management software • Supports PictBridge, DPOF functions, Exif Print, and PRINT Image Matching III
One of the best blogs I've come across recently is the Video 48 blog by film enthusiast Simon Santos. Dunno if that's his real name, but much props to the guy for keeping the flame of classic Filipino movies alive and reintroducing these classics to local, and international, technorati. His collection of movie facts and other minutiae is wonderful and entertaining.
I just love airports, don't you? Especially the Ninoy Aquino International Airport. You exit the terminal and you see a crush of people behind bars. My Japanese friend's first impression was, what is this place, a prison? Whether you're landing in Narita or Davao, airports can be bewildering. Imagine what it would be like for a 23 month old toddler.
The world-famous restaurant franchise built on breasts has now unbuttoned its blouse in Metro Manila. Hooters Bar recently opened its first Philippine branch adjacent to the Mall of Asia, adding yet another sight to distract your attention from the Manila Bay sunset. Management insists "You can look, but you can't touch."
I can't seem to embed the video, so here's a LINK.
In the grand tradition of LOLCATS comes the next meme du jour: FAILS!
The FAIL Blog exemplifies schadenfreude, which means "enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others," a term popularized by the wicked musical Avenue Q.
In the grand tradition of LOLCATS comes the next meme du jour: FAILS!
